Perfectionism is debilitating and can never be reached 

The constant act of striving to be better, to please others, to perform and perfect, causes many skilled and talented people to feel an overwhelming sense of being inadequate, totally killing their confidence, creativity and stopping their best work from entering the world. As I already mentioned perfection can also never be reached, so a perfectionist will always be unhappy with their achievements, no matter how good they really are.

Perfectionism keeps us from taking risks, an invaluable part of trying something new or presenting something new to the world; it prevents us from challenging the norm; blocks inventiveness and playfulness and makes it impossible to adapt to new situations and ideas. It encourages us to procrastinate as we can’t fail at something we haven’t started and it stops us from being authentic and making the most beautiful and meaningful things we can, things that truly stand out as they come deeply from ourselves. It is very hard to do something and feel proud, no matter how much you love it, when there’s a nagging voice telling you “You are not good enough,” “You don’t deserve this,” or “What will people think of me?” every step of the way. 

So, why do most of us want to perfect everything? 

Fear and shame are the number one reasons. A deep fear of not being good enough, the fear of what others might think, not pleasing others and generally that if we let our guard down, the world is going to see us for who we really are, a person that doesn’t measure up. Perfection keeps us safe and protects us from the real us being seen and if we cannot be seen it makes sense that we cannot be seen to be not good enough. Right?

How do we overcome the feeling that we need to be perfect and that everything we create needs to be perfect to be presented to the world? 

First, we need to recognise perfection for what it is and what is it doing to us. Ask yourself how that trait is working for me? And is it actually useful to my life? 

Most coaches and therapists ask you to explore your need to be and to make everything perfect as part of a 1on1 session or in a writing journal. Why do you do it, why do you think that way etc. Question if this is a rational behaviour or not by separating feelings from fact, and then finally explore how to deal with this in a more positive way. There are much faster ways to do this. My favourite way (that I teach through my programmes) is to find the root cause of things like this through journaling and belief clearing work, as long-lasting change only happens when you give up the ‘need’ you have created for it.

Just for today however, simply starting to think like a non-perfectionist creates change. Everyone questions from time to time if they are good enough or if they can do something. The difference is people without perfectionist tendencies, people that feel worthy and good about themselves, question it and do it anyway, as to them it does not matter if they get it wrong. To hear the voice in our head that says “I am not good enough” and respond with “Maybe you are right?  Maybe I am not good enough to do that, and that’s actually totally ok with me.”

Try developing a new response to failure and mistake making. Realise you need to get things wrong to get them right. Even Henry Ford once said: “Failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently.” 

Instead of beating yourself up for getting something wrong or doing something you do not love, do what successful entrepreneurs, creatives and business people do – use this as a learning experience, or use your creative thinking, intuition and intelligence to create something even better than you first imagined.

You can also start trying to tell your perfectionist to take a hike and increase your enjoyment in whatever you are doing, your confidence, skill levels, your visibility and your productivity by taking on one of these new mantras or mindsets:

Practice equals progress 
Done is good enough  
I accept I need to be bad at something new before I am able to do really well at it. 

Using a creative arts practice to become more comfortable being imperfectly you

Becoming comfortable to be less of a perfectionist and accepting yourself as you are, is a MAJOR part of WHOLE.  If you would like to learn more about embracing the beautiful, imperfect person inside of you, start to show yourself more to the world and allow the world to love you for being that way, I teach you very gentle and SAFE ways to do these things using a creative arts practice in my online courses and membership WHOLE. 

Something that usually takes 4-12 months to complete at $13 AUD per week, during April you can access WHOLE for a year for just $49 AUD. 

If you would like to simply read more about embracing the beautiful imperfect person you are and not the person you think you are ‘supposed’ to be, Brené Brown offers up an incredible point of view on perfectionism and vulnerably revealing your own insecurities in her best-selling book, The Gifts of Imperfection.

Enjoy all your moments and remember always the most beautiful, loving, valuable and impactful thing you can be is yourself.