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Let Your Light Shine
By Adie McDermott
All of us here are unique and beautiful beings. Truly! We can’t change our past, but we can change how we feel about it, how we see and treat yourselves now and learn how to move forward in gentler ways.
I believe the thing that makes the biggest difference to our art, and all throughout life, is not skills, experience or even good looks, it is self-acceptance and self-love.
I always saw ego as a characteristic in someone who thought highly of themselves. Someone who liked or loved themselves, saw themselves as good looking, highly skilled, better than others etc. The older I get however and the more I learn, I see how ego (even more strongly) effects the actions of people that don’t accept, like or value themselves.
If we weren’t taught as a child (and most of were not) to express ourselves freely, that it was ok to reveal our true self and be loved as we truly were, there is still a child in us that is hurt and looking to fill these needs now as an adult.
Infact, I would go as far to say we ‘desperately’ seek to get them met, and that every day most interactions with other people become about getting our needs met. Our core needs for love, acceptance, appreciation, validation, connection and for being held and heard for who we truly are.
How do we do this?? We try to perfect ourselves, control everything, to make the uncertain certain and be sooo super pleasing so we get the validation we still need from others.
Most women are a master of disguise!!
We silence our needs and opinions and put on a outward appearance of happiness, control and perfection to please other people and to pretend we feel ok, but….the truth is we are constantly comparing ourselves to others, feel really unhappy when others do not react or act in a way we would like or expect them to and feel empty, lost and honestly exhausted constantly trying to be someone else’s version of ourselves so we are loved.
If you are not used to expressing yourself authentically in life, it is going to be very hard (when you first try) to express yourself creatively. I know that from experience. My story.
To me, this is the magical added bonus of the creative process, where unexpected, beautiful life-changing transformations can happen. You see, the creative process is a cycle: to really free your creativity, you must free yourself; at the same time the creative process is an amazing tool you can use to gently and safely push yourself to listen to, to learn from and trust yourself…..to be more free!! I liken it to FEELING ME FOR THE FIRST TIME. Not the person that used to hide herself away and desperately try to please everyone to feel lovable. The person who feels comfortable within herself and is free to share herself with you.
The big enemies of creativity reflect life
Perfection, certainty, control, expectations, comparison and validation all come from our ego and are all enemies of creativity, true expression and really OUR HAPPINESS IN LIFE.
In art (as in life) some signs that you are letting your ego take control and not allowing yourself to listen to your true authentic self are:
• Trying to make everything perfect, over planning, not starting, not taking risks or trying to perfect every layer as you are afraid to mess up.
• You are unable to let go of control, you need to know the answer before you begin something and always try to make the uncertain certain, instead of going with the flow
• You judge yourself very harshly. You expect yourself even as a beginner to produce beautiful, amazing, highly skilled, frame worthy artwork every time.
• You compare yourself and your work to that of others. You constantly find theirs to be better than your own.
• You seek validation and approval of your art from others. You silence your voice or your expression in order to make something pleasing, not be too much or to not bring attention to yourself.
Heal yourself through the creative process
How can we start to reverse feeling and behaving in these unhealthy ways through the creative process?
• Above all else, allow yourself to do the things in art that your mind whispers to you. This voice is the long lost YOU, trying to tell you what you love, how you can express yourself and how you would love to do things. Allow yourself to do this, to listen without judgement and get things wrong.
• Your creativity and self-expression are not used to being heard. Think of them as beautiful immature young children. Give them a chance to explore, play, make a mess, learn and grow as they become able. Give them a chance to get things wrong before they get things right.
• Take small moments of respecting your inner child by doing something that (by adult standards) seem childish. This releases the child within to play and to heal.
• Don’t try and be everything you hope to be all at once. Push yourself a little bit a time to become more trusting and more courageous.
• Allow yourself to enjoy the process, as after all, it is the process that is the most enjoyable part of art making, and the part that has the most benefits not the end product.
• Allow yourself to be a beginner. We are all not judging you, only you are.
• Try to really enjoy and explore your materials, enjoy the colours, the marks they can make, the play and the fun of just putting stuff down on paper.
• Try not to control and have the answers for everything. Instead trust and believe in the unknown. Trust the process and the fact that you need to get things wrong in order to get them right.
• Gently push yourself to start or try out new things before you are ready. This will give you the little amounts of confidence and trust you need to push yourself more.
• Work in a safe, private place and don’t show you work to anyone unless you are ready to.
• Give up your ‘need’ for anything standing in your way, like I teach you to do in my online creative wellness courses.
• And most importantly be kind to yourself. If you don’t, then who will?
To try creating something for yourself check out my classes, holistic online courses and creative wellness workshops. Join my creative facebook community to connect with like mined others, try out my FREE mixed media ‘gratitude’ project or watch me make an artwork and learn more about the healing power of creativity here.
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